When I began writing for this blog, I had two goals. The first was to publish an interview that I did of a friend or aquantince who is an artist every Friday. I have already dropped the ball on that one, resorting to an older article I published with another magazine. The second was to post something every Monday, calling it Monday’s Musing, that was thoughts on music or art or purpose or something of the like. And yesterday, I dropped the ball on that one too.
Now, I have great excuses for this apathy towards dropping the ball. Yesterday, for example, I had started two different blog posts (one on the Super Bowl and one called “If No One Was Watching”) but I didn’t like the direction they were taking, the way they were turning out. I didn’t want to write some crap and lose whatever equity I have with the few people who read this. I don’t write during the day because I am at work or I want to spend time with my wife and son. As for the interview, it takes time to get good interviews and I don’t want to publish just interviews of my family (more of those to come, though, they are an artistic bunch). So like I said, I have lots of excuses.
But that is crap. I need to lose the excuse. Read reason for not posting like my goal? Lack of planning and execution. Laziness in the morning and getting caught up in reading articles about the best Bourbon Ale or shopping for a hotel for a NYC trip. Lack of follow through on calling friends who are artists and arranging interviews. And lastly, just probably plain old apathy and thinking, “No one will really care if I follow through on this goal or not.” If you are anything like me, you are probably just as skilled at justification and excusing actions that really boil down to laziness and characted flaws. But I don’t want to admit that.
Yesterday night, I was playing basketball with some guys and the guy I was guarding was playing a little rough, to say the least. To top it off, whenever I wouldn’t back down and let him bowl me over, he would call a foul. I was pretty tired of it by the end and in the second to last game, we got a little tied up and there was a little bit of shoving that happened. Now, what I wanted to do was take a swing, or at least hit him with the same elbow he kept drilling me with. And talking to everyone else after they game, they all concurred that he was playing a little dirty and that he was calling crap fouls. You see, I managed to justify my loss of temper and then get other people at the game to justify it as well. I am good at coming up with excuses.
I need to lose the excuse. Chances are, so do you. You haven’t pursued the passion that you once had because work got in the way? Lose the excuse, get up earlier, sacrafice TV time to make it happen.